Who knew!?

November 7, 2017.Reading time 3 minutes.

This mornings reflections on Fishing:

1. I hate fishing, but it’s one of my favorite memories with my dad & I love those memories & I love making new ones with my kids. I still hate fishing.

2. Sacrafice means different things for everyone. I love spending time with my kids before bed, reading, praying etc & don’t need to squeeze those last drops of time in for ‘me’ time. I don’t mind the insane calendar built around all my kids activities & they don’t bother me in the least. I don’t see the same things other people see as sacrifices the same way. But let me just say, waking up at dawn to take my kids fishing came close to the ultimate sacrifice.lol. They’d better know how much I freakin love them.

3. Fishing brings out the outdoorsy little girl in me. Where its camping food, flannel, & bed head. I murdered a dozen yellow jackets this morning & got oddly excited over turquoise dragon flies. I love ‘going’ fishing, I just hate fishing.

4. We had a pet duck who stayed within 5 feet of us for 4 hours. He was named Elf. Elf likes homemade organic cookies. We debated about keeping him. When we left, he flew away. Im pretty sure I over- thought about that duck, but still, it was pretty weird.

5. Ever since I was little I’ve loved taking pictures, when I was bored or happy or really focused or really aimless. Of all the people I shoot my daughter actually amuses me the most because in her shoots she can completely switch personalities in a matter of seconds, getting 2 opposite shots surprisingly taken back to back. I never thought we were alike in that- until today, when I was really bored(remember we were fishing!?, happy, aimless, & focused all at the time & saw myself 3 different ways in abut 3 seconds. A personal reflection, but one that made me think.

6. I’ve always heard to stay quiet while fishing. I realize now I’m pretty sure that was a load of crap, lol, but an excellent parenting tool. The marines across the way were playing music & that very moment & idea changed fishing for me forever. I need music in my back pocket for survival.

7. I am so grateful my dad has been teaching them to fish because I would have said, ‘lake, stick, fish, make it work!’ Now they know ‘throw your string thing out to the water!’ is actually called ‘Casting’. Who knew?

I want to be like God, & opposite of most ‘Christians’ I knew growing up….

November 7, 2017.Reading time 4 minutes.

I am purposeful. I am deliberate. I know exactly how & where I spend my time. I am very aware of where I want to be.

I took this picture tonight because I looked down & saw all my favorite things in one place. I love my plaid shirts, I only buy these exact pens, I love my hydroflask water bottles, I’m loving my bracelets, I have piles of my favorite journals. I love eastlake church.

Church is something I have a lot of mixed, but mostly negative feelings towards. But God isn’t. I am very clear about who God is, what He asks of us & how much He loves me… how much He loves ‘Everybody’. I think a lot of churches are somehow confused about that last part.

I remember being in my hometown last year & tried to go to my childhood church, because I knew people wanted me to. Everyone treated me great because I ‘fit the mold’. This gorgeous woman with the rad-est blue hair walked in a few minutes after me. I watched as those same ‘godly’ people who just rolled over backwards to make me feel connected, kept out their fake smiles but casually turned away as this woman walked past them.

I couldn’t even go in, I felt so disgusted watching what had just unfolded & I wanted nothing to do with it. What I could have done to go back, go in & sit next to her. She was new & bold & brave & gave it a chance. I didn’t. I had already gone there for so many childhood years that I saw that morning as a perfect reflection for what I already knew. It wasn’t where I wanted to be.

We move every single year. It takes a toll. I take Eastlake church with me though. I never thought I would be someone who watched a sermon online. But I do. Sometimes I grab a beer or I push play while I run at the gym, but I watch/listen to someone tell the funniest stories, inspires me, & says if you are crazy flawed, & kinda suck sometimes join us, because we do too! They are technically called sermons. But Im not very technical & Im crazy laid back, so to me, I listen to a friend tell me what I need to hear. I get inspired by other people who aren’t afraid to say I don’t have it all together, & I get motivated by the love they aren’t afraid to share.

For this season while we live in Eastlake I go. I remember one of the first times I went, they said ‘We just don’t care who you are, If your gay, lesbian, a drunk, divorced, broken, flawed we don’t care, your welcome here’.(it may have been worded slightly better but pretty much, it was that honest). In that moment, I found a home. I can’t stand behind a lot of places that claim whatever they tend to claim. But Eastlake Church is a reachable form of Hume lake to me. So if you want, check em out. They totally rock.

eastlakechurch.com

4 strands of rope….

November 7, 2017.Reading time 2 minutes.

They say each person is a combination of their 7 closest friends, & I agree. I’ve often thought of my soul with 4 strands of rope/souls being the foundation for what it can hold, what it is made for, what its capable of. There are 4 people I am 100% comfortable with who know every […]

the third time around is a charm

November 7, 2017.Reading time 2 minutes.

Parenting amuses me. Especially the difference between being a mom the first time vs the second time around. The first time around I would sit by my sleeping sick kiddo wishing they were awake & laughing, but would never do anything: read, text, breath… anything! I would just stay frozen in fear hoping for better […]

-me

November 7, 2017.Reading time 1 minute.

It’s amazing how in the same moment, life can stand still & never stop at the same time….

Some people get simpler as time goes by. Some people get more complex. I’m not sure I know which is harder…