I am purposeful. I am deliberate. I know exactly how & where I spend my time. I am very aware of where I want to be.

I took this picture tonight because I looked down & saw all my favorite things in one place. I love my plaid shirts, I only buy these exact pens, I love my hydroflask water bottles, I’m loving my bracelets, I have piles of my favorite journals. I love eastlake church.

Church is something I have a lot of mixed, but mostly negative feelings towards. But God isn’t. I am very clear about who God is, what He asks of us & how much He loves me… how much He loves ‘Everybody’. I think a lot of churches are somehow confused about that last part.

I remember being in my hometown last year & tried to go to my childhood church, because I knew people wanted me to. Everyone treated me great because I ‘fit the mold’. This gorgeous woman with the rad-est blue hair walked in a few minutes after me. I watched as those same ‘godly’ people who just rolled over backwards to make me feel connected, kept out their fake smiles but casually turned away as this woman walked past them.

I couldn’t even go in, I felt so disgusted watching what had just unfolded & I wanted nothing to do with it. What I could have done to go back, go in & sit next to her. She was new & bold & brave & gave it a chance. I didn’t. I had already gone there for so many childhood years that I saw that morning as a perfect reflection for what I already knew. It wasn’t where I wanted to be.

We move every single year. It takes a toll. I take Eastlake church with me though. I never thought I would be someone who watched a sermon online. But I do. Sometimes I grab a beer or I push play while I run at the gym, but I watch/listen to someone tell the funniest stories, inspires me, & says if you are crazy flawed, & kinda suck sometimes join us, because we do too! They are technically called sermons. But Im not very technical & Im crazy laid back, so to me, I listen to a friend tell me what I need to hear. I get inspired by other people who aren’t afraid to say I don’t have it all together, & I get motivated by the love they aren’t afraid to share.

For this season while we live in Eastlake I go. I remember one of the first times I went, they said ‘We just don’t care who you are, If your gay, lesbian, a drunk, divorced, broken, flawed we don’t care, your welcome here’.(it may have been worded slightly better but pretty much, it was that honest). In that moment, I found a home. I can’t stand behind a lot of places that claim whatever they tend to claim. But Eastlake Church is a reachable form of Hume lake to me. So if you want, check em out. They totally rock.

eastlakechurch.com

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