I remember the first time I saw you, and I don’t think I remember the first time I saw Anyone… You had poise. You were confident and beautiful beyond the definition of beauty. I saw whatever flaws you had, as perfect imperfections.

 

‘Someday’, I thought, ‘Someday, I’d love to be friends with you.’ You had an untouchable spark and I was magnetized. I affiliated with sunsets, so when I spotted you, I knew you were a sunrise. I can’t quite describe it, but in the least-weirdest way you encaptured me. Then a few days went by and somehow we got introduced and I was in awe because you were so incredibly nice too! Like, really nice, and really real, and still, really scary to me. For reals’ girl, I had never seen someone I thought was as gorgeous as you. At the time, you were this untouchable tall Greek gorgeous goddess. Sorry if there for a while I was a little awkward and nervous around you, lol.

 

Eventually, we had been friends for months. Funny story, but as a result of you drinking countless bottles of water, I picked up the daily habit too, and it’s still a part of me. I’ve often told people that I drink so much water because it is my security blanket. Every time I have a bottle of water in my hand, my confident level shoots up and thinking back I realize this favorite habit of mine, all started with you. The amount of water I went thru being nervous to talk to you that junior year of high school truly isn’t even funny, lol; but it does make me laugh now, 20 years later.

 

As the months went on, we starting hanging out together every break. We would laugh, we would talk, we were friends, but honestly I still wasn’t sure why you were talking to me. See, feeling self-conscience was a foreign feeling for me, up until there was you. Overall I was friends with mostly all guys and the girlfriends I did have, for some reason I didn’t have them on this imaginary unreachable petal stool I had you on. Around you, I somehow felt feelings of inadequacy that I wasn’t used to, but not because of you, but because of the box I had mistakenly put you in, my misplaced idea of untouchable perfection.

 

Then one afternoon my dad came home from doing a project at your parents’ house. He said, “I met Kierstin.” He told me that she seemed really nice and when he asked if she knew his daughter, she squealed “YES! She is my best friend!” To this day I remember the way my eyes felt. I said, “Oh my Gosh Dad! She does like me!  For reals!? I thought maybe she was just being nice!”

 

You have always been amazing to me. You have always broken out of whatever beautifully crafted box I’ve accidently put you in. Your outside ravishing beauty doesn’t compare to your endless inner beauty of strength, humility, compassion, love and endless kindness. Instead of your beauty defining who you mostly are, instead it is just the cherry on top to all the vast beauty inside of you.

 

College. Los Angeles. Long Beach. Those weekends I would escape the Beverly Hills life I was so caught up in, to escape into a completely different reality of beach life with you. Those mornings that the endless coffee pot would wake up at 5am and finally shut off around 1pm. Those days before kids where we’d smoke countless stories a day. Whether it be in the fast paced excitement or the slow paced thoughts, you being there for me, always, without judgement, full of acceptance, gave me my world. For the longest time I didn’t even know how mornings would start without a quick hi and hello with you. Then kids happened. They made our mommy moments so much better and made our time look so much different than it had before.

 

I still don’t know how you escaped your obvious destiny of being a supermodel, but wow, this world is rooting for you, in anything and everything you choose to do! You shape it with your never ceasing kindness to the underdogs of life. You are equally amazing to those with deep pockets as well as those counting pennies. You a fierce woman that is compassionate, are a devoted life-giver into your incredible marriage with a man who loves you boldly, as an amazing authentic mom, as a great friend to so many people, & as my best friend.

 

Geez girl, you have been my biggest mommy friend blessing, reminding me daily of what a badass job we are doing. You remind me of how genuinely incredible it is that we love them thru all their adorable gestures as well as when their being little assholes. Lol. You make me better. You teach me so much. You inspire me daily. I made a box labelled perfection exactly 20 years ago and you broke free of it at every opportunity, redefining how I saw true beauty, redefining how I saw perfection in the best way possible. You broke down walls and expanded my world in more ways than I should write. The beach is my home because I understand the waves, the crashes and burns of my life. I seek out the sunrises and sunsets for the beauty they give my life from time to time. But you- Kierst; you are the sand beneath my toes, giving me stability, a safe place to face the waves, an anchor to reach out to. You are what makes me feel like home, in myself. You are constantly there for me no matter life’s temperate weather. Just as I once collected sand from everywhere I went, I also take a piece of you with me each time we talk. You make me feel safe to be me, feel enough, feel confident in being exactly just me.

 

Cheers to being you girl! For being the beach blonde gorgeous goddess badass that you are. I love you girl and you make my world so much more than it ever would’ve been without you! I love that we live worlds apart in so many ways and still have endless respect for each other’s differences. I savor how you’ve taught me how important it is to be so quick to forgive, that regardless of whatever season I’m in, you’ll never judge me, but instead be the first to stand up to support me.

 

I have so much admiration for how real you are with your family, for how beautiful your marriage is, how much you own yourself fully. There’s 20 years in between hello and now, so many stories, so many moments we made our friendship count and happen! Then there’s that book I borrowed and never read, and all those sunny high school afternoons driving around in one of our white rag top cabriolets with the top down, music blaring, chain smoking, stick driving, dancing thru our simply sweet 16 lives. We made this life count girl! You breathed life into so many of my moments, you gave me confidence because you truly believed in me. You are my favorite definition of a Californian beach bum, you are my best friend girl and in so many sweet ways, you have been… the sand beneath my toes.

 

Kierst. I Love ya girl. Oregon feb.18