You are a million of my favorite things wrapped into one person. Where one would think the layers end, instead, inside you, there is a door opening to thousands more. You are breathtakingly gorgeous in every way possible. You own your transparency, your stories, your past and your future like a grace- filled, serenity-centered ‘southern bell’. Your raw, your real, your strong, and somehow so humble, so gracious to everyone, so able to see perspectives not at anyone elses first run look. You inspire me in ways uncounted but also uncomparitable to anyone I’ve met since. In 20 years, living in 11 different environments, I’ve met some of the most amazing people, but none even light a match compared to the light you give the world… my world.

It started with overalls and a lemonade stand. It started with you being brave before the hesitancy that precludes so many unspoken hellos normally do. You said, ‘ Hi! Do you want to be friends!?’ It was that simple. Your love, your beauty, whether revealed in you, your highlight reel or fleeting flaws… is always just that, forward, honest, unhinged and unbothered. If it wasn’t for you in my life I would have become a completely different person then who I get to be because of you.

Girl, you mean so much to me. No matter what, you support me, & don’t judge me… while also promising that I’m doing the right thing in the difficult decisions, or questioning me past where I wanted to self reflect, and of course, also saying ‘you might be completely stupid with that logic, you should most definetly rethink that. Lol.

There’s a few times I learned from you too, when you weren’t even looking…  when I was supposed to be on hold, lol. So grateful that hold button doesn’t always work;) This is one time I’m glad it didn’t… Since your gorgeous, since you belong in the elite crowd, since people stare at you wherever you go, I guess I just assumed. I assumed you would be short ‘n rude to the guy at Starbucks because well, you could be, people would have understood, because well, people have gotten used to beautiful people being rude and stuck up, because somehow this society has accepted it. But you aren’t any of those ugly things that being beautiful can sometimes evolve into.  I listened as you ordered your triple shot, no foam, or maybe it was extra foam, soy milk latte with a splash of whip( I have no idea what it was actually, but sounded delicious, I wasn’t accustomed to Italian cafe yet, lol).

I smiled as you laughed. I could hear you smile with full acceptance of this stranger, as you put yourself & the cashier on the same page. It’s sounded like you were complimenting a famous A-list actress, you made them feel like they were counting stars instead of dollars and passed out millions of dollars instead of venti’s. In that moment, in my Italian villa, excluded from reality I found a new life reality, one I promised myself I’d never let go of. I saw a snapshot of who I wanted to be, all in a 2 minute hold. From that day forward the way I talk to every single person went from “Can you ‘just’ take my order…please?” to “How can I make sure you feel better, bigger, more beautiful about yourself when I walk away?”. That talk, even in just one aspect… changed all of me.

I learned that the only thing that makes me beautiful is how I can make other people feel beautiful about themselves. That beautiful feeling you get when you give beauty away surpasses any feeling a pair of heels or head of rollers ever could, in that deep place where true beauty breathes…
Shawn, youve always found a way to be a soul shaper. I cannot express the depth to which  that is no easy task, but you do it, for me, to the people you meet… and I know to yourself too…

Did you know? Our talks carry me thru for days, sometimes even weeks when we get to talk. There are chapters of our life that go skipped also, because, sometimes, most times, I’m also busy just like you. I’m also distracted. I’m also in my life. But sometimes when I pause, when I feel like I just need to give my secrets an outlet, to share my emotions with out spellchecks, to tell my stories ragged edges, holes, dirt, shame, n all. I need a place to show up wearing wrinkled thoughts, mismatched debates, unconnected sentences, misplaced thoughts and just be ok, being me.

And when I need you, you always find a way to also pause, and just be there. In those shadows you never make it darker but instead often turn my hour glass of emotions upside down and echo what my heart knows, that it will be ok, it will be hard, it may hurt, it will be a process, but I will be stronger, think clearer and be even more beautiful than before. And you always been right.

Girl, I love you. I love that you straighten me up when my face is toward my what-ifs, especially the ones I can’t control, that you tell me there will be wholeness where once lived holes, that there is beauty in being balanced, that if I tell you someone was an ass to me, you say forget them; that when I have had to live inbetween the lines or outside of them- that’s where life sometimes lives the most. That when I have deep thoughts… you validate them. You make me better in all the times you supported my stories, echoing that they may have stretched me, that they may have totally sucked, but that God is bigger than the best of us, and that the world is bigger then my pinhole view….

It’s been 17 years since we had a 48 hours like this one I’m landing into. We’ve made it for eachothers big moments…but just time, to talk in real life?… it’s been awhile, almost 2 decades!!?? What!? Lol. I love that we were intentional about our friendship, making time for eachother thru all these years, all the life changes, the routines, and daydreams. I’m sorry I couldn’t make a trip like this happen until now, I have thought about it all the time. I’m already missing you & it hasn’t even started. Intentionality, purposefulness, meaningful, simplicity, laughter, ephinanies… all moments I know I will take home with me from being with you, my soul just can’t help it when it’s with yours….

Xo- love you girl.